Questioning Authority is a regular segment in which we pick apart the advice of the pros based on our own experiences. Sometimes they’re spot on, sometimes they miss the mark. Let’s see how this one measures up…
Trying to list all of the mistakes people make in their profiles would be a tedious task (but we’re trying!), so let’s just focus on the big ones. In an article on Match.com’s blog, Eflirtexpert.com’s Laurie Davis tells us what she considers the top 5 profile mistakes.
Davis says that, in her experience as an online dating coach, women tend to find selfies a huge turnoff (in men), and I’d have to agree. Of course, I have a bias against selfies in general. I think they are overused and scream of narcissism, and when a dude’s profile has several (or, worse yet, ALL) selfies, I move on immediately. Don’t you have any friends that can snap those shots? Stop taking pictures of yourself and just enjoy what you’re doing!
2. Too much, too soon
This isn’t so much about turning off potential suitors as it is about basic internet safety. Choosing a username that you use elsewhere might make it easier for stalkers to get access to your personal info. And the same goes with revealing personal details in your profile that could be combined to track you down. To be honest, this isn’t something that concerns me. I lock down the privacy on other profiles (such as Facebook) pretty tightly and haven’t had any trouble, but if privacy is a concern for you, this is actually pretty good advice.
I couldn’t agree more with Davis’s advice on remove all mention (and phtographic evidence) of exes in your profile. Maaaayyybe if your ex is still your best friend you would mention that, because it does indicate that when things go wrong you can handle it like an adult and even come out better on other side, but no one cares or wants to hear about your terrible ex. Complaining, badmouthing, and even anonymous jabs just make you look bad. Very few people find negativity a turn-on, and i’m not sure I’d want to go out with the people that do. I mean, I did one time, and that guy…oops, never mind.
4. Group photos
AMEN SISTER! I understand the logic there: you want to give us a glimpse into your social life. But 9 times out of 10, all you are doing is distracting us from the main topic (you). And if I have to spend several minutes trying to figure out which one is you…well, I’m just not going to.
5. Sex appeal overload
I’m actually delighted to see that an expert shares this opinion with me. Stop trying to look sexy on your profile. Unless you’re on 3nder or AdultFriendFinder, it just comes off as trying to hard. Women whose profiles are littered with duck face and cleavage come off as those drunk “woo! woo!” girls at bars, and guys who show off their abs and sweet biceps strike me as superficial bros. Maybe that’s not you at all, but it’s definitely what your photos are telling the rest of us about you.
All in all, I agree with Davis’s tips. There are certainly more mistakes – some of which I find much more of a turn-off than her top 5 – but these are good to keep in mind. Do you agree or disagree with any of these?